Ears, Causes and Consequences
by wexilctnaueij
Summary: Ryoma doesn't want to wear bunny ears. Just because he's wearing them, doesn't mean he wants to wear them. (Somewhere in the Great Backstage of Life there is Atobe apologizing, because that's what boyfriends do - accept ridiculous dares from friends and then apologize to their lovers. "Do it for the dare.")


Ryoma looks down at the hair band with more than a little incredulity. "Why am I supposed to wear this?"

Atobe looks at him with more than a little love. "I love you, that's why."

"Who dared you to make me wear this?"

"Oshitari," comes the reply without a second's hesitation.

Ryoma frowns at the bunny ears in his hands. "No."

"Why not? I'm sure you'd look adorable as hell in this."

"Yeah, even when I'm playing tennis with my teammates? Momo-senpai and Eiji-senpai would have a field day if I showed up like this! Fuji-senpai would take pictures and blackmail me for the rest of my life! Buchou would make me run a hundred laps!"

"Only a hundred?" Atobe is disappointed. Seigaku managed to win the tournament running less than a hundred laps a day. How unjust.

"Keigo, I love you, but I won't sacrifice my reputation in front of my teammates for something as... as piddly as this."

Keigo kind of wants to kiss Ryoma for sounding so cute saying 'piddly'. Ryoma, who knows Atobe very well, says "piddly" again with a (lovable, but he won't admit it) smile and pouts. Atobe swoops in to kiss that pout. "I love you. Please."

Ryoma gazes at Atobe for a while, who stares back resolutely. Hmm. Interesting.

"Why should I wear this? What's in it for me? And what's on stake for you?"

Atobe, who was standing front of Ryoma, now sits down beside him. They have this 'spot' of theirs, a meeting place in the most secluded corner of the local park. There's an old bench that no one's maintained because it, while clean, looks a hundred years old, but they sit on that every time anyway.

"Oshitari and I were just discussing... our significant others," Atobe ventures a while later. Ryoma looks at him sharply. "He knows?"

Atobe shakes his head. "No, he just knows I have a lover." Atobe's hand curls around Ryoma's at that moment, but both pretend they didn't notice. "The topic of discussion veered to... silly things we could make our lovers do. Now, he successfully made Gakuto wear bunny ears in school one day, and challenged me to do the same."

"Technically you should have gone to Gakuto, then," Ryoma sniggers, but Atobe fixes him with a deadpan stare.

"You know what I mean. That's the dare. We bet a day's worth of ridicule at Shishido's hands on it."

"That makes me want to not wear it even more. And you know it's just his twisted little plan to find out who I am."

Atobe sighs. "By a day I mean twenty-four hours, not just a day's practice. Shishido even gleefully agreed to it. That boy respects me but will jump at the chance to mock me."

"I respect him, now."

The hand around Ryoma's tightens its grip. "But you love me."

"But I love you."

"So you'll wear it, yes?"

"You still haven't mentioned my incentive to wear it."

"I'll bear a day's worth of ridicule from you instead of him." It's a no-profit-no-loss situation for Atobe, because he suffers ridicule from Ryoma daily even without stupid dares.

Ryoma doesn't fall for it. "Didn't motivate me."

"Don't you want your boyfriend to maintain his dignity in front of his teammates?"

Ryoma says the same line back to him word for word, but Atobe takes the band from Ryoma and puts it on his head after taking off his cap.

"How tough was it?"

Ryoma's expression screams murder, but oh God, he looks positively cherubic. Atobe has to look away.

"Monkey King!"

Atobe composes his face and turns his head again to meet Ryoma's gaze. "Yes?"

Ryoma, with a wicked smile, nods. "I'll wear it."

The bunny ears attached to the band flap. Oh God. God save Atobe. God. Too cute. Adorable. Explains the wicked smile, because of course Ryoma knew the effect it'd have on him.

Atobe, with a muffled growl, drags Ryoma into his arms for a warm, tight, very warm and tight hug, peppering his face with kisses. "You, for all your arrogance and cockiness, can be so fucking cute when you want to be."

Ryoma repeats this sentence back to him word for word, too, and melts into the hug. The left bunny ear tickles Atobe's nose but he suppresses a sneeze to keep Ryoma clinging to him.

"Are you okay with him finding out about us?" Atobe asks later, gripping Ryoma's jaw so he can't move his head and send Atobe into fits of much-cute-must-kiss again. Ryoma says yes with a mouth squished by cheeks. Atobe kisses that mouth and lets him go, but Ryoma doesn't go anywhere.

* * *

He doesn't miss all the reactions the next day. He won't when it's over, either.

When he enters his classroom, Tomoka screams. Her hands are probably itching to grab him, but she won't. Mostly everyone in his classroom is staring at him, wide-eyed, slack-jawed, even Sakuno, who is blushing so prettily that some students have eyes only for her. Nobody says a word. Nobody asks him anything. Nobody teases him (his expression is enough of a deterrent).

Even the teachers go speechless for a while when they enter his classroom, but soon get over it. Echizen-kun is usually such a model student. One day of not being one is okay. Don't let the dean see or we'll be fired.

Ryoma takes care not to shake his head much the entire day, because the first and only time he forgot he was wearing rabbit ears set every girl in his class giggling uncontrollably and disrupted the entire Mathematics period. He's going to make Atobe pay later.

He escapes to the roof for lunch. He could easily have taken the band off earlier because Atobe isn't around to check, but he doesn't like lying to someone so dear to him. Wearing the bunny ears is better than that.

Of course, tennis practice is an entirely different issue.

Momoshiro collapses into helpless laughter the first minute he sees Ryoma. Eiji's right there with him. Inui has never scribbled in his notebook so speedily in his life. Kaidoh and Kawamura are red in the face because who can deny the cuteness.

Fuji goes and gets his camera, while Tezuka and Oishi merely ask him to explain.

"I'm sorry but I can't take them off. Please allow me to keep wearing them. It's a dare from my boyfriend, Buchou," Ryoma sighs. "I think he'll be visiting us soon."

Oishi sighs, too, and goes to get the second-year non-regulars from where they're cackling, behind the water taps.

* * *

"Did you actually get Mrs. Atobe to wear them?" Oshitari asks. His eyebrows couldn't be raised higher.

Atobe places a cool hand on his forehead. "Yes. And don't let him hear you calling that. He's adamant that if we marry, he's going to fulfil the husband's role." He sends the first-years to run laps around Court C, and checks Shishido/Choutarou v. Hiyoshi/Gakuto and Kabaji v. Akutagawa's scores.

"Ohhhh." The eyebrows rise a bit more. Oshitari looks... very funny.

"Ah, so you're Mrs...?"

"As if I'd fall for that," Atobe sneers. Oshitari shrugs. "Had to try. Ah, Atobe-kun, suddenly I have the urge to visit our rival schools and see how they're doing..."

He's already on his way to the Hyotei bus by the time Atobe gathers the regulars. Two tennis players can't go by themselves, after all.

"How do you know it's a tennis player from a rival school?"

"I know you, and except for tennis matches, I think you wouldn't spare anyone, literally anyone, except from Rikkai or Seigaku even a glance."

Atobe considers just telling him it's Ryoma. But where's the fun in that? What would be the point of making Ryoma undergo humiliation like that?

So he puts up with raucous bus-ride singing because it's all going to be worth it.

* * *

Oshitari eliminates Rikkai from the list (of two) because there's no way Yukimura would allow anyone on his team to wear fake ears without retribution. Unless he's wearing them himself. But no, he's got a soft spot for Sanada... so... Seigaku.

"Is it the brat?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Probability. You only have had substantial interaction with Tezuka and Echizen. It is highly, highly unlikely that the captain would allow his image to be dashed into the ground, even for your affections."

"You could have done these deductions without making me make my boyfriend do this."

"Ah, but where's the fun in that?"

Atobe stares mutely. Then:

"Two hundred laps for you when we get back, one-fifty serves and I don't care if you and Gakuto have plans."

Hell hath no fury like Atobe messed with, indeed.

* * *

Priceless.

Utterly priceless.

The sight of Ryoma serving with flapping rabbit ears. Utterly priceless. Fuji could get millions if he sold the pictures to Inoue and Shiba. He won't because of Tezuka, the spoilsport boyfriend.

When Hyotei's captain calls Coach Ryuuzaki and asks her to let the team practice with hers, Tezuka and Fuji know. They know.

Ryoma's boyfriend can only be one person on Earth.

Atobe Keigo.

Tezuka reaches for the aspirin bottle. Just in case.

(Fuji swapped the tablets out for blanks earlier in revenge for not letting him blackmail Ryoma, but he doesn't need to know.)

* * *

"Thank you, though it was an exercise in futility."

Ryoma sighs. "Who cares what people think."

"You looked cute enough to eat."

Ryoma leans into Atobe. "Piddly," he mumbles. Atobe hugs him tightly.

The park bench creaks. They don't get off.


End file.
